One of the most bittersweet feelings in the world is meeting someone so, so amazing, but you’re caught in that weird limbo of not knowing how or if things will progress. You enjoy every moment you spend together, and at some point you find yourself wanting to spend a lot more moments with them; wanting to hit them up throughout the day with life updates; wanting a hug or kiss from them. But you do nothing. You put it all in their hands. You don’t want to take the next step and try to DTR because that could very well mean facing the reality that your time together doesn’t mean nearly as much to them as it does to you. What if it means nothing at all to them?
I’ve been playing this stupid dating game for way too long that I completely transform into a cold robotic version of myself whenever I deal with a man. You know what I’m talking about, the whole “whoever likes the other person least is the winner” thing. It’s not even a game to me anymore—it’s a way of life, and it’s sad. At first, I acted like this because I thought I was supposed to, and ya know, I made these blanket statements like, “All guys don’t want relationships.” And now, I’m pretty certain that’s not true. I act like this because I don’t know how to do anything else; because I’m afraid.